I was. And don’t act like you didn’t wake up this morning excited to see me. You wouldn’t chop off my head because you love me. In fact it was our love that allowed us to take over Hell in the first place. I’ll admit a few of the townsfolk have gotten a little unruly while you were away. But they got knocked down a peg or two. Nothing to worry about. I know it did. I got you to shimmy out of them once. It was a good time. Yes, that sounds good. No tears. Not tonight.
I am sure the kids would have understood if mumsy was a bit weepy. There’s nothing weak about it. It’s called grieving. That is true. But I can blame a good portion of it on you.
You know, I have to admit, the moment I popped back onto this island, I was hoping to see my favorite tattooed, illegitimate father of my child! I have missed you so, I cannot lie. I do love you, even I can’t fib about that. Was it our love? Or our love for hideous things and chaos? And wanting to rule the world someday? Oh, who is really keeping track these days. Oh I do hope you gave them loads of fire and brimstone for getting out of line? Oh, touche! But you have to admit, I managed to get you to drop trou for me as well! Alright, no tears.
Yes, never is easy losing a best friend, let alone Rob. He was a good man. I shall take credit for a good portion, just not all, I am good, just not that good!
That is exactly what it was. I woke up and was just aware that you were back and the urge to see you became so strong I was instantly put in a good mood. Well, I am King! So I have more power than you. Only to you because I knew you loved it. I am not sure I could handle your tears. They might reduce me to tears as well.
Yeah, I figured as much. How are you doing… with that? Oh please, do you not remember France? I am pretty sure that was all your idea and trouble was definitely gotten into.
Exactly, you were feeling rather tingly this morning, yeah? Just because you are King does not mean you automatically have more power. I could easily chop your head off while you were sleeping and I take over. I am sure Hell is a mess due to my absence, actually. I loved it? How did you know I loved it when you were rude? Made me want to shimmy out of my knickers! Well, we most certainly do not want to start crying, we may not stop.
I am doing well, very well. Didn’t truly have a choice, to be honest. Didn’t want kids to see mumsy all weak and weepy. Trouble was had, but you cannot blame it all on me!
I was very chipper this morning actually. I knew it was going to be a good day. I can revoke whatever I want to. You on the other hand, are not allowed to revoke anything. Please, me? Rude? Who have you been talking to. Outstanding gentleman, I am. Oh, don’t cry. You’re face is too gorgeous for tears.
Hey, you coulda shipped the kids off to their favorite Uncle Tobias. That way you could have gotten into a bit of trouble. Of course I meant only favorite.
You were chipper because you felt my presence, admit it! I can revoke anything I want, I have power, I am Queen! You were always rude, shut it. Do not question me. I could, I think I should, you haven’t seen my tears in ages!
I could have, yes, but we needed to get away for a bit after…Rob. I never get into trouble, how dare you say such a thing, haha! There, much better. Oh how I have missed you so!
This morning actually. My face was quite handsome, even if I do say so myself. I do. I resent it with my entire being. In fact, I resent it so much I am considering revoking your status of Queen of Hell. Try not to sound too modest, Mands. I know. It’s fuckin’ weird.
Did you manage to stay outta trouble while you were there? I’m glad you did make your way back here. I was seriously missing my favorite weather manipulator.
Right, right, I s’pose you were too groggy to realize. It is alright, I forgive the mistake, ha! You can never resent me or my statements, you have missed me far too much. You cannot do such a thing! You shall not revoke any status which you have given me! That would be far too rude, especially since you are looking at me after all this time, yeah? Should I cry? I can cry if it will change your mind…
I did, I did. Blame having a baby. I had to be a “parent”. You mean your only favorite weather manipulator, yes?
My face is not ugly, thank you very much. I resent that. And here I was going to compliment you on how good you look. I’ve been alright. Working as usual. This place has been a ghost town, actually. If it wasn’t for my customers I’d think the place had been deserted.
How was the mainland, Babs?
When was the last bloody time you popped in front of a mirror, love? Oh, you do not, hush. I always look good, don’t need you to tell me, but I highly recommend it! So I noticed, I barely saw a face I recognized.
It was…different? As you can see, I made my way back.
Shut up and give me a hug, woman. It’s been too damn long. You doing alright?
It has, hasn’t it? I daresay I have missed your ugly face! As well as your personality, but mainly your face! I have been doing well. But how have you been? How have things been here?
Straight to the point, yeah? And your “baby mama” wants child support!
[text] and what would you do if my reputation was forever ruined because of that? I'd be out a job and you would have to support me because its your fault. And let me tell you, I'm really fucking needy and expensive.
[Text] To be quite honest, I’ve no bloody clue how you’ve managed all this time without me.
[text:] come see me some time now that you're back. I miss the fuck outta ya.
[Text]: I wasn’t even going to wait for an invitation, you know. I was just going to pop up and shout, “Surprise!” in hopes you’d be so shocked you royally fucked someone’s tattoo <3